This morning I have been searching for inspiration..anything so that I pull myself up from the downward spiral that I could feel pulling me down.
It’s so challenging to accept an STS after all the work that I know that I have put in!
At the same time, there are other factors at play here – like it’s the 1st day of TOM and I am more bloated than normal…hence why I am making today my rest day, as there is no way that I could do a workout.On the other hand, I know that the effort that I put in will reflect next WI(providing that I stay on top of it with eating right & exercising)
There’s a fight between my mind and my body right now.
My mind is saying, “Come on Pas, just do it!”
My body is replying with, “Pas, be gentle with me, I need the rest today so you can have better workout days ahead!”
So I am doing my best to listen to my body and not feel guilty for having a rest.
I know that you’re all going to say, “At least it wasn’t a gain!” Yes, I know! That’s what I keep telling myself too. And I do admit that I am feeling lighter in my body and in my skin….well, beyond the bloating! I can feel the difference of changing my exercise plan is working! I know that I just need to keep moving forward. I think I am feeling a little low because I can’t put that into action straight away today….well, have chosen to anyway.
Today was my measuring week(I do this every 2 weeks now)…And there are definitely huge improvements on my waist & on my hips…but this will be the last time that I measure myself on first day of TOM because the tape does reflect the bloating too. So I decided that I will measure myself again next week 🙂 I know, I know, I should’ve just kept away from the measuring tape, but hey, we live and learn, as they say!
I do have one positive share though – on Mother’s day on Sunday, to go out to Pancake parlour for breakfast, I wore my size 12 jeans that I bought years ago from Millers(the one I referred to one of my past blogs – that I believe is actually a size 14). I was able to button it up and although it is still a little tight, I could sit with it buttoned up and eat too(although by the end of the day after having a Muffin break muffin, I did have to unbutton it). I felt great in it …I wore it with a top that’s also size 12 that I haven’t worn for over 12 months along with a long black jacket…apart from being very cold that day, it was also to hide the bulges that I would prefer not to blind everyone with!lol. But it felt good to wear them…
Upon reflection for the past week or so, I have realised that I this time around on my road to better health journey, I seem to have to force myself in a way, to enjoy the milestones along the way – like fitting in to clothes or my face getting smaller, etc… Some days are easier than others. The last time I was on this journey which was about 5 years ago- it was the first time I was exchanging health for what seemed like so many kilos that I had piled on. I was doing it a lot slower and I had my sister on travelling the road with me as support to each other. The last time I had many big clothes that I replaced with smaller clothes along the way…it was much more exciting, so it seems. This time, I have a wardrobe full of size 12 & Medium clothes(It’s what I had been for 2-3years before falling pregnant), waiting to be worn. I can’t justify buying new clothes right now! I have a small pile of clothes that fit me at, which I rotate to wear everyday. Sometimes, just the fact that I am still wearing these clothes(even though they are much looser on me than 4 months ago!!!), is discouraging. I feel like I have such a wide range of clothes but I can’t even wear them!
Out of my mind and into words to help me release them by sharing it with you all. I WILL get back on track, today is just ONE OF THOSE DAYS!
“No matter what’s been happening in ur life, U can change the trajectory of events, by closing ur eyes, reviewing ur thoughts & behaviour & send love.