Am I disappointed?
I would be lying to say that I am not.
I actually couldn’t remember exactly how much I weighed and in my mind thought that I had exchanged 800g and I was disappointed to see that the difference was only 100g…
…considering my weekend of indulgences, my TOM bloating and TOM cravings that just had to be fulfilled – I think that I did pretty well 🙂
Sure this probably means that I MAY not be at the exchange I have set my goal at for my niece’s deb next week BUT HEY…I am gonna keep at it. I know that this is only temporary…I KNOW that I can get back on track!
What was different for me this week?
Well, as I mentioned above – all the TOM symptoms. My sister come over for fish & chips on Friday night(which don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed). Saturday we went to the Palace cinemas @ Como and enjoyed a nice juicy porterhouse steak beforehand(something that I NEVER order but since being told that I have to eat a lot more red meat, I am pushing myself to have more of these). In the cinema, we shared an almond cake and some maltesers. On Sunday, I had my cousin’s wedding in Altona. It was only nibblies. I had lunch before hand which was only soup and I was careful with what I ate there..keeping in the back of my mind the points that I can have. But then I don’t know, something switched in my brain on Sunday night and Monday….and it’s a switch that I haven’t had for a while or have been able to replace with positive thoughts in the last 12 weeks. I believe that I have mentioned before that the ONLY time that I crave chocolate is when TOM is lurking..I had these beautiful little truffles in a box that my youngest son had given me for Mother’s Day. They had been sitting there for 3 weeks, only touched every now and then and shared with others in the house. But Sunday night and Monday – I went crazy..and just ate the whole thing…I think that there was about 10 altogether. I did give one to my eldest son out of that.lol. So yes, I guess that you would call that a binge fest!
Although throughout ALL OF THAT…I worked out EVERYDAY! Not always doing what I would like to be doing or had planned on my exercise plan because my daughter’s sleep was a little all over the place this week with the fact that she’s had a cold. So instead of doing my usual TaeBo this week(the last time I did see Billy was Sunday before the wedding), I have been walking to pick up boys from school and when they are home and able to entertain the little one for me, I would jump on the Wii JD2 for 40 mins. So all in all, my activity points have been still pretty good. I earnt 70 activity points for the week but I did eat into it as well as my allowance points this week. So that would be the major difference. Usually I use my allowance points during the weekend but leave my activity points completely alone. Also, my food tracking plans were also out of whack as I hadn’t done a week’s shopping. Goes to show how important it is to PLAN! PLAN! PLAN! That’s what helped me to exchange such a massive amount last week.
Hey, it’s all a learning. Now I know that by doing the above things, my body is surely to slow down…and especially at this time.
Also, what I have learnt this week and I am happy with this time around in my health exchange journey, is that I am allowing myself to have those few treats when my body is craving for it(maybe not my body, more my mind lol). I was looking at this photo of me at a friend’s wedding almost 3 years ago and remembered the torture that I put my body through in order to get those results. My state of mind was also not the best at that time having lost my parents a couple of years before. I would really deprive myself so much of everything and then have massive binges..and when those binges felt like they were out of control, I would workout like MAD! Did it work? Yeah sure it did…but to my detriment!
Everything in moderation. Sometimes, you hear things or people say things or read about how things should be done and you’re hearing it but you’re not really listening. Because, I thought the rules of the body didn’t apply to me. That I could do anything to it and it will just respond. Of course it does respond, but the more negative thoughts & treatments you put your body through, the more negatively it will respond too. Sometimes, not straight away…just with time you see the damage that you created by not listening to your body and treating it as the temple that it is.
So I believe treats are important. Maybe even in the last 12 weeks, I was not treating myself enough…perhaps that deprivation mentality was still present and wanting to take over! But more and more, I am able to step out of myself and see what I am doing that is not heading towards a healthier me! Sure, I have up and down days….LOTS of them. But the moment I can change that thinking and take action to make that difference, I seize it and keep moving!
- My realisations
- My lessons
- My cravings(as without them, I wouldn’t have seen first hand how bingeing can really affect me!)
- Ensuring that I exercised EVERYDAY – finding alternatives when I couldn’t do what I planned 🙂
- Rewarding myself for last week’s massive exchange(which was 3 new tops & a pair of shoes – the shoes were a bargain that I just couldn’t pass up during some Bridge rd shopping)
- My daughter’s interrupted sleep patterns – it got me out on walks in beautiful Melbourne’s sunshine that we’ve been blessed with this week
- Finding inspiration in my time of need in Oprah
- My supportive WW friends…if I don’t tell you enough…THANK YOU!!
- This journey, even with its ups and downs…it’s teaching me so much about myself, developing my strengths and recognising my weaknesses
- Being able to blog again!
I will sign off this entry with this amazing quote from Oprah’s last show – so MUCH of what she said touched my heart and my soul but THIS one was the MOST powerful:
”There is a difference between THINKING you deserve to be happy & KNOWING that you are worthy of happiness!” ~Oprah